Let’s face it: When we are in a new relationship, we tend to look at our partners through proverbial rose-colored glasses.
The flaws (even if we find them) are too quickly written off: He avoids introducing you to his friends and family? Well, it’s going to happen when it happens. She tends to leave all the stuff scattered around. That’s okay, you’re too orderly for both of you.
But it’s only until a few days. Once you get practical and explore your relationship better, you realize that the issues are too serious to overlook. You can ignore some problems or probably sort them out. But for some, you need to accept that there’s nothing common there that you have with your date. And so, it’s time to move on.
Here the dating experts at Eureka weigh down six red flags that should be a cause for concern in any relationship.
1. You Need to Change Your Real Self to Make Your Partner Happy.
Having some changes introduced in your life for the sake of your partner’s happiness is okay. We all do it to make it up to our partner’s individual taste. You binge-watch an entire season of “Friends” because your partner is gaga over it. Some of you attempt to go vegan because your loved one has been used to that lifestyle for years.
It only becomes a real issue when you feel the need to change who you are at your core to satisfy your partner. It’s a definite problem when you find yourself molding your values, opinions and even your clothing style to suit your partner.
2. Nitpicking and Criticism – Even if Said in Jest – are Constant in the Relationship
Your hourly texts annoy him. She kiddingly compares her convent education to the one you received at state school, even though dismissively.
It may seem fine at once, but it becomes a habit for your partner to become over critical to affecting your self-esteem, it’s time to speak up for yourself or maybe jump ship.
Even if there are certain traits in your partner that you can’t go on with, talk your way our respectfully. Don’t over criticize or put them through subtle comparison – neither casually not aggressively.
3. Your Partner Makes all of the Big Relationship Decision
You only go on dates or spend time together when it is convenient for your significant other. Your partner forces you to hang out only with his friends and family.
You accompany your girlfriend to each of her workplace celebrations and friends’ parties. However, she never invites you to her family gatherings, and she is disinterested to accompany you to social gatherings you attend.
Feels like deja vu? It’s time to reevaluate your relationship and leave if necessary. If the relationship is meant to flourish between two people, both of you matter.
4. You Want More “ME” Time – But Your Partner Wants More “WE” Time
You are desperately in need of some time to yourself while your partner is complaining about how rare you guys see each other. Simply put, you cannot figure out the amount of time that is mutually comfortable to spend together. If your frequency of connecting is too low or too high, you need to talk your way out and fix the issue. When unattended, it can lead to big problems in the future.
5. You Feel Personally Responsible For Your Partner’s Happiness
If you ignore the inner red flags as soon as you realize that your partner relies on you or it might affect their emotional balance if you retaliate, it is the right time you start giving yourself some priority. It is essential for you to understand that each person is responsible for his or her happiness – it comes from within. You, as a person, are also important.
6. Your Partner Controls Who You See and What You Do
This is the biggest red flag of all. If you find your partner is controlling your time with friends or family, your finances, clothing choices, or how much makeup you wear, it is time you pay attention to the issue. Talk to your partner and explain to them the damage he/she is doing to you. If they fail to understand or are unwilling to change, leave ASAP.
Conclusion
Bad relationships are hard to accept, especially if you are in the middle of one.
If you are truly in a toxic relationship, think about it. Don’t make yourself excuses for your partner’s offensive behavior. Explore the solutions, and if it gets too complicated to be solved, love yourself enough to walk away.